Friday, October 26, 2012

MOVIE REVIEW: 'DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE' (1980)

"RUN if you must! HIDE if you can! SCREAM if you are able! But if you are alone...DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!" That's the catchy tag line that runs over the theatrical trailer for this classic piece of "trash"ploitation!
If you've never heard of this movie in your entire life, you're not alone. 'Don't Answer The Phone' debuted 32 years ago among other classic slasher-fare like William Lustig's 'Maniac' and the original 'Friday the 13th'. Unfortunately, 'Phone' doesn't have an unstoppable killer or a mainstream audience like Jason Voorhees does. However, what 'Phone' delivers is an unbelievable performance by Nicholas Worth as "the Strangler."
In my opinion, Nicholas Worth is to "Kirk Smith" as David Hess is to "Krug Stillo"...they couldn't have picked a more suitable actor for the starring role! Worth portrays a ruthless, psychotic Vietnam vet who preys on unsuspecting women as a photographer. His main target is Dr. Lindsay Gale, played by actress Flo Gerrish, as he calls her radio show and harasses her under the guise of a man named Ramon, who you'll come to remember as "the man with the headaches." Last but not least, we have the two bumbling police officers who are out to get the strangler, Lt. Chris McCabe (played by actor James Westmoreland) and Sgt. Hatcher (played by none other than Death Wish II's "Inspector Lt. Mankiewicz", actor Ben Frank). Both cops try every possible angle in finding out the strangler's whereabouts, including a hilarious scene where they call upon a psychic who actually describes the strangler's m.o. in great detail, only to be read his rights and booked upon suspicion!
Personally, this is one of my favorite slashers of all-time. There have been a number of different home video releases for this movie. Rhino Home Video released the first DVD version back in 1998, which was sadly watered-down and edited for content. Back in 2006, BCI Eclipse/DEIMOS Entertainment released "The Uncut Version", which came with a cool "O" card, which is pictured below. Recently, new wave horror enthusiast and TNA female wrestling star Katarina Leigh Waters of "Katarina's Nightmare Theater" fame released 'Don't Answer the Phone' in a brand new HD remastered edition. Until Scorpion Entertainment starts releasing their catalog of films onto Blu-ray, this is probably the best version of the film that you'll ever see. The extras from the 2006 BCI Eclipse/DEIMOS release are all here, plus a brand new 20 minute audio interview with star James Westmoreland! I can honestly say that this film ranks in my top ten list...no shit! Watch the scene where Kirk is doing his impression of DeNiro's 'Taxi Driver' by talking to himself in the mirror and you will agree...'Don't Answer the Phone' is "worth" picking up! If you don't take my word for it, remember what Kirk said: "...'cause I'm the best there is!"
My Rating: 5 stars out of 5 stars

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

MOVIE REVIEW: 'KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS' (1989)

Whenever I hear the name Charles Bronson, "Death Wish" comes to mind. The iconic action hero who rose to stardom with the 1974 film became a legend in his own right. During the 1980's, he starred in three sequels to the classic film series, reprising his role as "Paul Kersey" (or as some might refer to as "The King of Bad Luck"), as well as a slew of action movies through Cannon Films like 'Murphy's Law' and 'Messenger of Death', just to name a few. 'Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects' marks the end of that era. Bronson plays "Lieutenant Crowe", a racist vice cop who pits himself against a smooth-talking street-wise pimp named "Duke" (played by Juan Fernández). Crowe's partner in crime, "Eddie Rios" (played by fellow 'Death Wish 4' alumni Perry Lopez), is strictly there for laughs. Together, they try to stop Duke's prostitution ring once and for all. After watching the first five minutes of this film, I had literally found myself dumbfounded. I couldn't believe I was watching "The Stone Killer" land blows not with a gun but with his own mouth! Needless to say, this was not the Charles Bronson that I grew up watching as a kid. J. Lee Thompson, who's filmography is also legendary, is the man behind the camera, and the one who's responsible for this mess. Being a fan of his 'Death Wish' entry, I felt that I couldn't go wrong with his follow-up. I was wrong. Still, one can't help but watch this tragedy unfold, especially when Charles Bronson is delivering one-liners and shoving dildos up peoples asses.
As the age of excess came to a close, big name action stars like Charles Bronson started to fade away, while newcomers like Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal started to make their way into the mainstream. Audiences weren't interested in watching the same old schtick over and over again. 'Kinjite' proves that point. To coin a phrase that Bronson's character uses in the film, people want to go back to pot roast and mashed potatoes. That being said, 'Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects' is a film that tries to be "hip" while retaining it's contemporary roots. The only thing missing is Bronson using a walker to beat up the bad guys. My rating: 2.5 stars out of 5 stars