VON NINGUE REMAKES...'ZOMBIE'!

Remakes, remakes, remakes! Hollywood is fresh out of ideas, which means that it's time to make what's old brand new again. Unfortunately,the past ten years has shown that, and sadly, not everything that gets reinvented works as well as the original, although now and then, one remake makes quite an impression.

This month, we're taking a classic horror film and "remaking" it (for no apparent reason) in today's world...Lucio Fulci's 'ZOMBIE'!

"The boat can leave now. Tell the crew." -- Dr. Menard (Richard Johnson)

Those famous opening lines were spoken by none other than famous actor Richard Johnson, who's best known for his starring role in the 1963 classic, 'The Haunting'. My choice to fill the good doctor's shoes would be none other than Pierce Brosnan. As of late, the former "007" star has made some second-rate fare, most notably the Brett Ratner actioner 'After The Sunset' (2004) and 'The Matador' (2005), pictured below. Since his departure from being Bond, he's got a rough look about him, which makes him perfect for the role.


So who's going to play the damsel in distress, you ask? "Anne Bowles", who was originally played by the lovely Tisa Farrow, would be perfectly portrayed by the "Ghost Whisperer" herself...Jennifer Love Hewitt! Love, who's no stranger to horror films, has a sweet and innocent "girl next door" quality about her that would make great eye candy for anyone who's willing to travel to the Island of Matool to scope out the mysterious goings on.


The lucky guy in question, ace reporter "Peter West", originally played by Ian McCulloch, would best be portrayed by actor Guy Pearce, who's best known for his role as "Leonard Shelby" in writer-director Christopher Nolan's 'Memento' (2000). Pearce has a knack for winding up in crazy situations and makes them that more interesting. I would love to see how he gets off the island alive!


And what would a remake of 'ZOMBIE' be without a good supporting cast? Let's pick out an interesting couple to lend both Anne and Peter a boat ride...actor Michael Pare and actress Michelle Rodriguez. Both come from the school of Uwe Boll, so there's no surprise that these two lucky candidates would make a cute couple! Originally played by actor Al Cliver ("Brian Hull") and actress Auretta Gay ("Susan Barrett"), these colorful characters were in for more than two weeks of fishing, bathing, and sunshine...that's fer sure!


Last but not least, we need to pick out a love interest for the good doctor. Hmmm...how about Salma Hayek? Both showed good chemistry working together in Brett Ratner's 'Sunset' flick, so this would make an interesting reunion for the both of them. Plus, the lovely actress has an "eye-popping" quality about her, too!

"THE BOAT LEAVES...SUMMER 2010"